To Esme

just finished a book titled the vanishing act of esme lennox and found it such a coincidence, although i don't really believe in coincidences, that i had chose one of my favorite short stories from college to read aloud at my "friday night art group" and that very story is sited in the reading guide to the vanishing act of esme lennox. i didn't know that they were connected on paper but it my mind, they were because i had chose to share the short story "the yellow wallpaper" by charlotte perkins gilman before i picked the book up. what attracted me to the book was the similar theme of the mistreatment of women. how if they didn't comply with the current social mores, they were put away, into an asylum or worse burned at the stake. this is a scary theme to me as i was brought up by a strong, independent artist mother that would have been burned had she been born back then. she was often called "joan of ark of the 60s" by her friends due to her rebelliosness and independent thinking. the book was a nice read, the pace was quick and i was anxious to find out what happened next. the characters were deep. it sometimes confused me because they went back and forth in time and between charactes without really explaining who was thinking or talking etc. but i figured it out eventually. i found esme's character interesting but iris, the young woman discovering her families history, was a little weak in regards to her behavior and relationships. she seemed to be floating along without any real intent as to where she wanted to go. kind of shame considering she came from such a strong lineage of women. i would recommend it for the sake of learning about how things were back then for women. it will make one appreciate our freedom today, to read what we want, write what we want, live with whom we want....

Lost

feeling a little lost this morning. sad. lonely. so much inside but nowhere to put it. no one i want to share it with. no one i feel truly wants to listen, to share in return, to take this feeling to the next level. so i'll sit with it. i'll feel it myself. i'll cry. i'll dream. i'll fantasize. i'll regret. i'll wish. i'll create a space i can survive in for now. until it comes back again.i am reading a book titled - the seven stairs: an adventure of the heart by stuart brent. it is about a man with a dream and an obsession with books. it is about his opening a book store in chicago and striving to make it what he envisions as an intellectual, creative meeting place for authors, readers, publishers and everything in between. he shares his struggles and his success and we meet many characters that come into his life, some to buy books, some to write books, some to fund his endeavors, some to try to control him, others to give him a means to flourish and others to ignite the fire within him to keep pursuing his dream.i'm enjoying it. some parts a little slower than others but overall, i love books about books and the book industry so i can't complain. i find that i love reading most things written from a book lover like myself as we are a little weird and have a slightly different way of looking at the world. our priorities are a little skewed towards buying a book versus paying a utility bill.