Bridges

I have been thinking a lot about what my obsession with books is. Not only am I usually reading 3 at a time but my "wish" list continues to grow faster than I can buy them let alone read them.

Currently I am reading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith. I love Francie and her perspective on life. I really like seeing the landscape of her neighborhood and what all of her surroundings mean to her symbolically. Anyway, I have been reading it rather slowly just so I can enjoy every nuance and every change she goes through.

This weekend I read "Bridge to Terabithia" because I want to go see the movie today. The previews were pretty cool and reminded me of what I like about "Neverending Story" so hopefully it will hold up to the book at least. I cried for half an hour at the end of the story. I needed a good cry but also I really connected with the character and felt his pain. There is something to be said for the perspective of children and their belief in magic, role playing and life outside of the physical realm. I love the kingdom Jess and Leslie created in Terabithia. I love that at first Jess wasn't able to let go and believe in this royal kingdom but by participating and not giving up, he eventually saw the magic, believed in the spirits and incorporated them into his world. I am such a realist but wish to be more imaginative so this book and hopefully the movie, will remind me of what it was like to be open to other worlds.
I'll let you know how the movie is, that is if I come back to the real world....

I came to one conclusion about my obsession with reading, books are bridges. They are bridges to other books, other authors, other worlds. We stand in the spot where we are physcially at any moment in time but by opening a book, we can be someone else, somewhere else, places we woudn't believe existed in our world right here in this spot we stand in. All I ask is that I am open and willing to see the bridges in front of me and that I have no fear in crossing them.

Freedom, What a Feeling!

I just completed The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad and I am feeling quite liberated. The book is non-fiction and tells the story of a family from Kabul in the industry of bookselling. The father, Sultan, is the patriarch and rules his house with an iron fist. He has two wives, numerous children and expects his sons to spend their lives working in his bookstores instead of getting an education.

The women in the story are as different from each other as can be. Sultan's mother, Baba Gul is in charge when he is away and she is content to sit in a corner and eat herself into oblivion. Sharifa, the first wife, honors Sultan by waiting on him hand and foot while Sonya, his young teenaged second wife is naive and needs to be taken care of.

It is Leila, Sultan's youngest sister, that I am rooting for throughout the book. She has a mind of her own although she is basically a servant in the household. She has a desire to learn, to see the world to fall in love yet society in her world prevents her from being the free spirit that she is. She must take along a young boy from the neighborhood to go out of the house. She must not be seen without her burka, in public with any non-related male and all the other rules that govern women in the Islamic tradition.

The whole time I was reading this book, I was thinking how lucky we are in America to have the freedom to walk out of our homes wearing whatever we want, go wherever we want, eat whatever we want, read whatever we want and the list goes on. We often think of what we can't do and get frustrated but in reality there really isn't much we can't do if we are willing to work for it. It is only up to us to choose the direction our life will take. This concept give me the knowledge that I am the creator of my life, with the guidance of a higher power, the universe will support me in my quest to fulfill my personal legend.....

Just started "In the Country of Men" by Hisham Matar so far so good.....
Currently reading : In the Country of Men By Hisham Matar

What's Your Personal Legend????

Just finished reading "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coehlo and fell in love. Not only was the story simply written, it was extremely deep at the same time. How'd he do that? I'm impressed.
The message is applicable to every human on this planet and it is also one we all know inside our souls but need to be reminded often in this crazy place called earth.
It put me in the place I needed to be at this very moment in time. I also realized that I'm not crazy because I struggle daily trying to find my "nitch" in the writing world. I began writing over ten years ago, journaling and personal op type stuff and never gave much thought to the content or an audience etc. It wasn't until I returned to college at 23 with 2 kids in tow and stumbled into an all women's lit course where I felt comfortable with the female energies in the room that gave me the freedom to express myself more honestly.
I wrote an essay for our one "creative writing" assignment about my mother's house using major descriptives which wasn't hard to do since she is an artist and her house is always filled with interesting objects and histories to go with them. My teacher, Ms. Gormly, bless her heart, fell in love with my paper and chose to read a portion to the class which brought smiles and laughter from around the room. This was one of those moments in life where you feel a sense of validation for your purpose, someone is fnally hearing where I'm coming from or at least is entertained by it.
I continued to dabble in writing and reading as much about books, writing, author's lives and their process etc. I decided to take some creative writing classes at a community college last year and was somewhat frustrated due to lack of participation and interest in the art of writing by the other students who seemed to be there only for an easy credit. Critiquing was not happening as it should have and the feedback I had so hoped to get and learn from wasn't well thought out or even available as the students, some younger than my children, were anxious to get out of class and weren't paying much attention to our teacher who by the way is a writer and truly cares about the process. I was ashamed of their behavior for her since she gave teaching her all.
so I digress...
The book made me realize that writing is part of my personal legend but I still have to work on exactly how I am to use it. The creative writing class in fiction was extremley difficult for me as I prefer to write about my life, my experiences, what I've learned on my path in hopes others will be uplifted, inspired and continue along on their journey. This is what The Alcemist's message was to me and I realize this is the type of writing I would like to persue, writing worth something, writing that can change things for the better, I want to add something positive to the world and if we leave anything after we leave this life, I want it to be inspiration, motivation and hope that each of us holds the power to make it a better place by following our purpose, living our personal legends.
Thanks Paulo for the inspiration and living with intention. You do inspire others, keep it up. Send some energy over here, I could use it.

Rosie Thomas Rocks!

Sat on a wooden floor at a joint called The Earl and was hypnotized by Rosie Thomas on stage with her pink dress, guitar and soul kissing voice. She sounds like an angel and her lyrics are honest and come from her heart.

check out her website www.rosiethomas.com and take a little listen.

if you get a chance to see her perform, it is well worth the time and money.

So many books, so little time or money to buy them

i remember when i worked in the corporate world. i made more money so i bought hardcover books and lattes to satisfy my thirst for knowledge and caffeine as well as to tolerate going to a job i hated everyday.

now i work in a bookstore, i'm surrounded by books and talk to people about books and shelve books eight hours a day but cannot afford to buy books or lattes on a whim anymore.

i love going to work everyday though, and i love being surrounded by books and discussing them. i guess that is more important than making money.

they say money can't buy happiness but it can buy books and coffee and options.......

Richard Tovar Rangel, Jr.

so young when i brought you into the world,

yet with you came wisdom i hadn't gained from this world.

did you come to teach me patience, unconditional love & tolerance?

you were my stable ground when the world swayed from side to side.

Mother & Daughter

this would be me and my daughter sheyane five years ago. this was before she was too cool to sit on my lap for a picture.....

looking back at old pictures is always so surreal and sometimes extremely sad. why is it we are never "in the moment" that pictures are taken. when i look back at them, i wonder what i was thinking then, what were my worries, my fears, my dreams. what was i thankful for, wishing for and hiding from?

they say a picture is worth a thousand words but i can't think of one except for hmmmm....

My baby girl is growing up

this is my baby girl. she left to spend some time in texas with my parents, my oldest child (her big brother) and her dad. she takes up so much of my life when she is with me that when she is gone, there is a void.
i miss you little girl!!!

Work in a bookstore and too poor to buy a book

i saw the most amazing book cover on this book today in the store:
Only Revolutions: A Novel by Mark Z. Danielewski.
once i read the inside flap, i realized this book is written by the author of
House of Leaves a book that came out awhile back and developed a cult following.
i lifted the sleeve of the book and discovered it is glossy with sea creatures, birds, irredescent bugs, shells, skulls and much much more. a most amazing collage. and the story seems quite interesting. you must read some reviews for yourself.
anyway, as much as i want it, at my hourly wage i would have to work three hours to buy it and it just doesn't seem fair.
oh well, maybe i can absorb it through osmosis!!!

Show me the writing!

wow
don't know where the summer went outside of the bookstore. unfortunately i am perfecting the art of procrastination as far as my writing is going. can't believe it is september already.
the air is changing and i feel the fall creeping up which i love more than words can say.
i really want to be out west. want to see the mountains. want to feel the dry air. want to wear sweaters and scarfs. want to layer clothes and hide under blankets and read.
i've noticed all of the celebrities writing books and feel the guilt of not making the time to write seriously, submit consistently and hope to begin devoting some time to my writing. if they can find the time to write, what's my excuse?
i'll be back sooner than before.

Poetry.com

I don't know what came over me the other day but I responded to one of those unsolicited emails asking me to submit a poem and possibly get published and/or win cash money. Cash money is good, publishing is good but that junk email was just that JUNK.
So today in the mail I get a letter with my poem showing through the envelope window and I have to admit it felt good to see "my poem" in print. Then I read the letter stating that my artistic talent stood out above thousands of others and they offered to sell me a leather bound book with my poem printed inside, something like The Library of Poetry Volume I for the mere price of $40. Wow, I can pay $40 for a book full of poetry and my poem inside. No thanks. I hesitated as I threw it in the trash but nevertheless, I threw it away because lately I have been having nightmares due to the clutter all along the side of my bed and on my nightstand and dresser.

A Day in the Music Department

Spent today in the music department at Barnes and Noble, my new job as of two weeks ago. Five years ago, prior to my career in Property Management and Real Estate, I worked in books at the management level. This time, I decided to go back as a bookseller and work with the customers.

During my interview with the store manager three weeks ago, she mentioned the farther up you go with the store, the farther away from the books you get. I love books, I love people who read books, I love discussing books. I decided I would rather touch, smell and sell books.

They need help in the music department, therefore that is where I shall work and learn about cds, dvds, box sets etc. So far I am enjoying the learning process and being exposed to all kinds of music.

Not a real exciting day but have my work cut out for me tomorrow. I have to get my Creative Writing portfolio together to turn in for final grade. I am looking forward to taking World Literature starting May 22nd.

See ya tomorrow.
Carla Nikol